Yesterday I was talking to Shu Mei, and she told me how she missed our freinship and our S + M + W triangle. Truth is, I do too, and it's really hard.
Right now, I'm not making alot of friends. A couple of reasons. Firstly, in Melbourne last year, at the first few weeks or months, I made quite alot of friends, not particularly close ones though. Then as time goes by, you get too busy and you have so many friends that you can't possibly stick to them all the time. Then you start to get further apart and maybe lose them. It's not your fault, maybe they are not making an effort to keep the friendship but you know they have other friends and you do feel guilty. After some time you dare not see them again or cross their path becuase your afraid of confronting them; maybe they are angry at you becuase you didn't do anything to hold the friendship together. Get what I mean?
Secondly, you don't know who to trust these days. You don't even know if they are of good freinds material or not! I talk to some of them, and I can tell, whether I can trust them or not, but here, I can't most of the time. Maybe you can trust them but they don't look like honest people but they are inside. You don't know. Sometimes you can even tell they couldn't careless about your problems and keep complaining about their own problems.
Like I mentioned how I did badly and all they could say was how they got SHITTY and how they want to go and DIE. I hate how they don't care about other people feelings, all lost in their own selfish world.
Maybe they are just being honest, telling you how they really feel, and they consider you a good friend and they don't want to hide anything, but I feel that a friend should at least be considerate or know when to say things and when not to. And when they are telling you to do something you don't want to do, or they are annoying you, you can't tell them to shut up, coz you don't know what they will do.
You know I can always talk to Shu Mei and Mayuyi. They will understand. They know when to tell me to shut up or stop talking and go do work if they know I have to but they will listen if I tell them my problems or worries. Sometimes I just want to listen to them and anything they want to say and mutter a few words. It's just so comforting to know, that they consider me a good friend and they are willing to tell you things even if you might not know what to say.
Long story short. I really miss my firends. You can't trust alot of poeple these days. And I'm in Health Science, and there are very very competitive people, and they don't tell you things...
Why must life be so complicating?
