So many Jedi duels, Yoda trying to absorb Palpatine's Force Lightning, Obi-Wan vs General Grievious (spelling?). Sooo coooool, but I didn't know Palpatine who is sooo old can jump here and there, how old is he? like 60? omg,he should be having back pains!!! Force Lightning is ok, but lightsabre duels??? phew. Absolutely loved those duels.
Now why weren't the duels from Jedi games that good? As far as I can remember, the duel between Anakin/Vadar and Obi-Wan (in Episode IV) and Luke (in Episode VI) wasn't that amazing either. They were like practising Kendo. Well, technology wasn't that good then but still, but Lucus could have done something about it...
Anyway, before I went for the movie, I found a book in a bookstore, "The Oracle Book". Quite interesting. It was simple, hold the book in your hands and think of a yes/no question. Then run ur finger or thumb across the edges. Stop when you feel it then open.
So obviously my first question was will I get into medicine or not. It said "Tarot: Death Card." No, I'm not dying, lolz. Then they go on and explain that it is not out of reach (can't rmb the exact beautiful meaning). Oh, so happy. Then i asked another question that came into my mind. I asked whether I will be rich or not (who doesn't?). "You'll will have it but it will be in MODERATION." Oh! *sob* hahahahahahahahah! Nevermind, the Tarot Card was enough.
My friend tried also, she was thinking whether she should go back to Palmerston North (near Wellington) to study vet instead. The book said it will be a big risk but success can be achieved. Quite weird huh? The book really answers the questions.
Gave me hope that book. I wonder will it be true. Oh well...
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
gone...just like that...
I got 35 out of 50 for my epidemiology...and that is 23.33 out of 33.33%.
It's the first ever exam for the very first year of that course and already it is worth 1/3 of the final marks. 1/3!!!
The tutors told us that they sat the same exam before us coz to see whether we have enough time or not (45 mins for a 12 pages, all medium-length answers) and they said the time was JUST enough.
Obviously it's just enough for them! They have been at it for ages!
And guess what their response was.
"We expected many people to fail so this is actually better than we thought."
Weird...so they do actually want us to fail... >.<
Then my friend ask me what I got, I told him, and this was what he said through msn: "><~<~ soooo pro" Then he put the crying emotion. Then he said: "I got slightly higher >.<"..."38"
So I'm pro huh? I wonder what does he mean by that...was he expecting me to fail? or was he thinking that I cannot possibly do well? Probably being paranoid again but that obviously shows he don't give a damn about what other people get. Then again, there could be something I don't know.
He's a really funny person though. Not funny as in jokes and stuff but he gets really upset when he doesn't get full marks. When our chem results return, he was like really sad and kept on complaining, "my perfect mark...no...so shitty"(he only lost 2% btw). Apparently he doesn't go to any single lecture. 2 weeks ago he came to the english lecture and he said that was his first lecture of the year! and he expects to get full marks. Weird but funny.
Anyway, I heard that few people last year got 70% average but still got accepted. That gave me a little hope...but i think their UMAT and interview was really really good. Think I need to work harder.
It's the first ever exam for the very first year of that course and already it is worth 1/3 of the final marks. 1/3!!!
The tutors told us that they sat the same exam before us coz to see whether we have enough time or not (45 mins for a 12 pages, all medium-length answers) and they said the time was JUST enough.
Obviously it's just enough for them! They have been at it for ages!
And guess what their response was.
"We expected many people to fail so this is actually better than we thought."
Weird...so they do actually want us to fail... >.<
Then my friend ask me what I got, I told him, and this was what he said through msn: "><~<~ soooo pro" Then he put the crying emotion. Then he said: "I got slightly higher >.<"..."38"
So I'm pro huh? I wonder what does he mean by that...was he expecting me to fail? or was he thinking that I cannot possibly do well? Probably being paranoid again but that obviously shows he don't give a damn about what other people get. Then again, there could be something I don't know.
He's a really funny person though. Not funny as in jokes and stuff but he gets really upset when he doesn't get full marks. When our chem results return, he was like really sad and kept on complaining, "my perfect mark...no...so shitty"(he only lost 2% btw). Apparently he doesn't go to any single lecture. 2 weeks ago he came to the english lecture and he said that was his first lecture of the year! and he expects to get full marks. Weird but funny.
Anyway, I heard that few people last year got 70% average but still got accepted. That gave me a little hope...but i think their UMAT and interview was really really good. Think I need to work harder.
Friday, May 20, 2005
again and again...
I damn sad right now. I finished my explanatory speech on wednesday night. I remember getting too nervous and everything was in a mess. My slide, my speech, etc. Then I got lost a couple of times (and that bad!)
You know what? Never look at the examiners. Everytime I looked at them, they AVOID making eye contact. They will quickly look down on their sheets, and I was thinking: "Hey, pay attention, I'm making an important point right now!" I know I'm being paranoid but you tend to think they are writting some bad comments down, and that's why I got so messed up.
At least I was on time. I could have just lost 10% for being few seconds too long, 5% for not being between 6 to 8 minutes, 5% for being over 8 minutes. Weird marking system...it means no matter what you get 10% off. Dope.
Then I got really upset thinking about it. I got alot of help. I practised alot and I managed to go through it well but when I stand up there I just black-out from time to time. Then it just reminded me of all the English stuff, how no matter what I write I will always be wrong or only mediocre. It has always been like that. It's just something that I know I can never excel in, and it's killing me. I think it's because there are no definite ways to write but they want us to write it in one way. I mean, how are you supposed to write an essay without ever using a PASSIVE sentence? Maybe there are ways but they won't always apply.
English's bad, Mandarin's bad, Malay's even worse. And I can't do anything about it.
That's why I always prefered science. There's always a reason for something and you can use that reason in every way. When you choose the correct answer nobody can argue with you, unlike languages where if the teacher doesn't agree they can mark you wrong and you can't argue with them coz they are always right. Science is so much simpler.
I decided to just write whatever way I was taught in and I just hope it is just enough to get me into med. But do you think it is wise to do so?
You know what? Never look at the examiners. Everytime I looked at them, they AVOID making eye contact. They will quickly look down on their sheets, and I was thinking: "Hey, pay attention, I'm making an important point right now!" I know I'm being paranoid but you tend to think they are writting some bad comments down, and that's why I got so messed up.
At least I was on time. I could have just lost 10% for being few seconds too long, 5% for not being between 6 to 8 minutes, 5% for being over 8 minutes. Weird marking system...it means no matter what you get 10% off. Dope.
Then I got really upset thinking about it. I got alot of help. I practised alot and I managed to go through it well but when I stand up there I just black-out from time to time. Then it just reminded me of all the English stuff, how no matter what I write I will always be wrong or only mediocre. It has always been like that. It's just something that I know I can never excel in, and it's killing me. I think it's because there are no definite ways to write but they want us to write it in one way. I mean, how are you supposed to write an essay without ever using a PASSIVE sentence? Maybe there are ways but they won't always apply.
English's bad, Mandarin's bad, Malay's even worse. And I can't do anything about it.
That's why I always prefered science. There's always a reason for something and you can use that reason in every way. When you choose the correct answer nobody can argue with you, unlike languages where if the teacher doesn't agree they can mark you wrong and you can't argue with them coz they are always right. Science is so much simpler.
I decided to just write whatever way I was taught in and I just hope it is just enough to get me into med. But do you think it is wise to do so?
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Murphy's Law
"If anything can go wrong, it will"
...or something like that, that's the simplified version. There are also many versions on diff stuff u can find on the net based on that law. Found some good ones:
"When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most importamt ones will be illegible."
"Class schedules are designed so that every student will waste maximum time between classes"
"When you are occasionally able to schedule two classes in a row, they will be held in classrooms at opposite ends of the campus"
"80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed about the one book you didn't read."
and plenty more....HAHAHAHA
Finish my bio exam just now, and point 1 and point 4 above applied to me. ARGHH
Caps
Aren't they just so annoying and 'unfriendly'?
I was trying to talk to my friend today at uni, and he was wearing a cap. So I had to like bow and look from below to talk.
And he kept looking down as well and i'm like "hello? trying to make eye contact here!!"
What's next? Kneel?
anyway, that's just so rude and as i said, annoying.
i think the cap has become another pointless accessory, like ties.
anyway, my 5 mins breaks up. Back to bio.
I was trying to talk to my friend today at uni, and he was wearing a cap. So I had to like bow and look from below to talk.
And he kept looking down as well and i'm like "hello? trying to make eye contact here!!"
What's next? Kneel?
anyway, that's just so rude and as i said, annoying.
i think the cap has become another pointless accessory, like ties.
anyway, my 5 mins breaks up. Back to bio.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Friends
Yesterday I was talking to Shu Mei, and she told me how she missed our freinship and our S + M + W triangle. Truth is, I do too, and it's really hard.
Right now, I'm not making alot of friends. A couple of reasons. Firstly, in Melbourne last year, at the first few weeks or months, I made quite alot of friends, not particularly close ones though. Then as time goes by, you get too busy and you have so many friends that you can't possibly stick to them all the time. Then you start to get further apart and maybe lose them. It's not your fault, maybe they are not making an effort to keep the friendship but you know they have other friends and you do feel guilty. After some time you dare not see them again or cross their path becuase your afraid of confronting them; maybe they are angry at you becuase you didn't do anything to hold the friendship together. Get what I mean?
Secondly, you don't know who to trust these days. You don't even know if they are of good freinds material or not! I talk to some of them, and I can tell, whether I can trust them or not, but here, I can't most of the time. Maybe you can trust them but they don't look like honest people but they are inside. You don't know. Sometimes you can even tell they couldn't careless about your problems and keep complaining about their own problems.
Like I mentioned how I did badly and all they could say was how they got SHITTY and how they want to go and DIE. I hate how they don't care about other people feelings, all lost in their own selfish world.
Maybe they are just being honest, telling you how they really feel, and they consider you a good friend and they don't want to hide anything, but I feel that a friend should at least be considerate or know when to say things and when not to. And when they are telling you to do something you don't want to do, or they are annoying you, you can't tell them to shut up, coz you don't know what they will do.
You know I can always talk to Shu Mei and Mayuyi. They will understand. They know when to tell me to shut up or stop talking and go do work if they know I have to but they will listen if I tell them my problems or worries. Sometimes I just want to listen to them and anything they want to say and mutter a few words. It's just so comforting to know, that they consider me a good friend and they are willing to tell you things even if you might not know what to say.
Long story short. I really miss my firends. You can't trust alot of poeple these days. And I'm in Health Science, and there are very very competitive people, and they don't tell you things...
Why must life be so complicating?
Right now, I'm not making alot of friends. A couple of reasons. Firstly, in Melbourne last year, at the first few weeks or months, I made quite alot of friends, not particularly close ones though. Then as time goes by, you get too busy and you have so many friends that you can't possibly stick to them all the time. Then you start to get further apart and maybe lose them. It's not your fault, maybe they are not making an effort to keep the friendship but you know they have other friends and you do feel guilty. After some time you dare not see them again or cross their path becuase your afraid of confronting them; maybe they are angry at you becuase you didn't do anything to hold the friendship together. Get what I mean?
Secondly, you don't know who to trust these days. You don't even know if they are of good freinds material or not! I talk to some of them, and I can tell, whether I can trust them or not, but here, I can't most of the time. Maybe you can trust them but they don't look like honest people but they are inside. You don't know. Sometimes you can even tell they couldn't careless about your problems and keep complaining about their own problems.
Like I mentioned how I did badly and all they could say was how they got SHITTY and how they want to go and DIE. I hate how they don't care about other people feelings, all lost in their own selfish world.
Maybe they are just being honest, telling you how they really feel, and they consider you a good friend and they don't want to hide anything, but I feel that a friend should at least be considerate or know when to say things and when not to. And when they are telling you to do something you don't want to do, or they are annoying you, you can't tell them to shut up, coz you don't know what they will do.
You know I can always talk to Shu Mei and Mayuyi. They will understand. They know when to tell me to shut up or stop talking and go do work if they know I have to but they will listen if I tell them my problems or worries. Sometimes I just want to listen to them and anything they want to say and mutter a few words. It's just so comforting to know, that they consider me a good friend and they are willing to tell you things even if you might not know what to say.
Long story short. I really miss my firends. You can't trust alot of poeple these days. And I'm in Health Science, and there are very very competitive people, and they don't tell you things...
Why must life be so complicating?
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
I will update again on Saturday or Sunday. Bio test on Saturday.
Hopefully my internet will work fine then. It has been almost a week and it's still really slow.
I disconnect the other 7 rooms if I'm really desperate, but I think someone actually found out and they reconnected it.
But of course I never got caught. I'm such a brilliant actor. hahahahahahahaha. I went around asking people, and pretending that i have a hard time surfing coz it keeps disconnecting. One of them said someone (ie. me!) pulled the lines, and I went "what? how can they do that? do you know who? must be internet problem?"
I'm still "innocent". hahahaha
But i better call the internet peeps to check my line to fix it.
And I will change the lyrics as well, not really me ay. Change to something more Britney (duh). hehehe
laterz
Hopefully my internet will work fine then. It has been almost a week and it's still really slow.
I disconnect the other 7 rooms if I'm really desperate, but I think someone actually found out and they reconnected it.
But of course I never got caught. I'm such a brilliant actor. hahahahahahahaha. I went around asking people, and pretending that i have a hard time surfing coz it keeps disconnecting. One of them said someone (ie. me!) pulled the lines, and I went "what? how can they do that? do you know who? must be internet problem?"
I'm still "innocent". hahahaha
But i better call the internet peeps to check my line to fix it.
And I will change the lyrics as well, not really me ay. Change to something more Britney (duh). hehehe
laterz
Friday, May 06, 2005
Post No.1
This is my very first blog.
Recently I was pretty upset and really angry with myself and everything around me.
I got my English summary test results back on Monday. A low 55% out of 100%. Thankfully, it was only 10% of final English marks. But wth? It was way below average of 67.5% and some of my friends can only say "it's only a little below average, at least you didn't fail."
But it doesn't work like that anymore. It doesn't matter if many others get really low marks. There is no ranking system with 1st place in class, 2nd, 3rd, etc. It is your marks and your marks alone that will or will not get you to where you want in higher education.
And some other people can be so inconsiderate. They know I onlg got that much and they went on complaining that their marks were shitty (3 of them, they were 80% 85% & 75%), and they kept putting on that sad face. I kept smiling pretending everything was alright but that doesn't mean they should go and do that. Is it the culture here? Everyone seems to be honest and open, but too honest and open, and they have this "I don'd give a damn what everyone else thinks" attitude which, imo, has made them insensitive and inconsiderate. Has it always been like that? Never noticed in Oz since Trinity no Aussies...
and 55% is another blow to me. It might not be much to you, but just when I thought I'm finally handling it, it struck me down. I've taking blows after blows after blows for almost a year now. First was Trinity Sem 1 results, then UMAT, then lit, then Sem 2 results, then no reply from Unis, then now English. I'm trying as hard as I can now. I've been sleeping 1 or 2am everyday (except weekends) for almost 2 weeks now. I'm not giving up just yet but I'm not sure if I can take it anymore.
well, I could try other stuff, but really, I really like anything else. I might find something I like in the future but right now there is nothing else. I'm sure there are more people out there sharing the same feelings as me. Then I hear that person at the Valedictory saying: "When one door closes, another door opens." Remember that? But it is easier said then done. It is not easy to just let go and take whatever that you get even if you don't like it. It's like the door bright room closes and the grim & dim room opens. Maybe the dark room can be lightened up but right now, I don't have the fuel or desire to do so.
I know at least few people who thought like me, only abit too extreme. "My future will be ruined forever and I will die" some of them will think. In a way it's true, you will have to re-define your life, change your future completely or to a certain extend, etc. At least that's what I think I will do if I don't get it this time...
But not giving up right now.
Well, back to what I was going to say originally, this blog might be pretty nasty at times, depending on my mood. I will probably be sad most of the time though, exams in 6 weeks can't help it. That's why I chose this dark skin, but it doesn't look too sad i think.
I will use it to vent my anger a little and update my life as well. Maybe it will help me calm down?
Can't type too much now (right, that's alot already)...1 test coming up...wish me luck.
Oh ya...isn't the Piano pic cool? That's the only thing that's mine...lolz
Expect more anger & hatred...
Recently I was pretty upset and really angry with myself and everything around me.
I got my English summary test results back on Monday. A low 55% out of 100%. Thankfully, it was only 10% of final English marks. But wth? It was way below average of 67.5% and some of my friends can only say "it's only a little below average, at least you didn't fail."
But it doesn't work like that anymore. It doesn't matter if many others get really low marks. There is no ranking system with 1st place in class, 2nd, 3rd, etc. It is your marks and your marks alone that will or will not get you to where you want in higher education.
And some other people can be so inconsiderate. They know I onlg got that much and they went on complaining that their marks were shitty (3 of them, they were 80% 85% & 75%), and they kept putting on that sad face. I kept smiling pretending everything was alright but that doesn't mean they should go and do that. Is it the culture here? Everyone seems to be honest and open, but too honest and open, and they have this "I don'd give a damn what everyone else thinks" attitude which, imo, has made them insensitive and inconsiderate. Has it always been like that? Never noticed in Oz since Trinity no Aussies...
and 55% is another blow to me. It might not be much to you, but just when I thought I'm finally handling it, it struck me down. I've taking blows after blows after blows for almost a year now. First was Trinity Sem 1 results, then UMAT, then lit, then Sem 2 results, then no reply from Unis, then now English. I'm trying as hard as I can now. I've been sleeping 1 or 2am everyday (except weekends) for almost 2 weeks now. I'm not giving up just yet but I'm not sure if I can take it anymore.
well, I could try other stuff, but really, I really like anything else. I might find something I like in the future but right now there is nothing else. I'm sure there are more people out there sharing the same feelings as me. Then I hear that person at the Valedictory saying: "When one door closes, another door opens." Remember that? But it is easier said then done. It is not easy to just let go and take whatever that you get even if you don't like it. It's like the door bright room closes and the grim & dim room opens. Maybe the dark room can be lightened up but right now, I don't have the fuel or desire to do so.
I know at least few people who thought like me, only abit too extreme. "My future will be ruined forever and I will die" some of them will think. In a way it's true, you will have to re-define your life, change your future completely or to a certain extend, etc. At least that's what I think I will do if I don't get it this time...
But not giving up right now.
Well, back to what I was going to say originally, this blog might be pretty nasty at times, depending on my mood. I will probably be sad most of the time though, exams in 6 weeks can't help it. That's why I chose this dark skin, but it doesn't look too sad i think.
I will use it to vent my anger a little and update my life as well. Maybe it will help me calm down?
Can't type too much now (right, that's alot already)...1 test coming up...wish me luck.
Oh ya...isn't the Piano pic cool? That's the only thing that's mine...lolz
Expect more anger & hatred...
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